"Southern"

South-ern:  of, relating to, or characteristic of the "South"

I was blessed to be born and raised in the "South".  It truly is unlike any other place in the word.  In the South God and family come before anything or anyone else.  Good manners and respect for elders never go out of style.  So fix yourself a glass of sweet ice tea, sit back, put your feet up, relax and enjoy these quotes I found about the "South".  What?  You don't have any sweet tea?  Well bless your heart!  Just call one of your southern neighbors.  I guarantee they will have a pitcher of sweet tea in the icebox and southerners love to share.  Ya'll have a good day now. 

•Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.



•Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."


•Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."


•Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in: "Going to town, be back directly."


•Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.


•All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.


•Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!


•Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.


•Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.


•No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.


•A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.


•Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!


•Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.


•Southerners never refer to one person as "ya'll."


•When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!


•Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.


•And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.




~Anonymous

"Living Life" by Bonnie Mohr

Life is not a race - but indeed a journey.  Be honest.  Work hard.  Be choosy.  Say "thank you", "I love you", and "great job" to someone everyday.  Go to church, take time for prayer.  The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.  Let your handshake mean more than pen and paper.  Love your life and what you've been given, it is not accidential - search for your purpose and do it as best you can.  Dreaming does matter.  It allows you to become that which you aspire to be.  Laugh often.  Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them.  Some of the best things really are free.  Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming.  Forgive, it frees the soul.  Take time for yourself - plan for longgevity.  Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know.  Live for today, enjoy the moment.

Five Things
1.  I love it when the sky is deep blue and the clouds are snowy white.  Beautiful!
2.  I don't hang my hand or foot over the bed at night.
3.  I hate beets.  Yuck!!!
4.  I like movies with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
5.  I love my family.

Coming Of Age

Coming of age is a young person's transition from childhood to adulthood.
My dad and I got the word today that our old house was being torn down to make way for the widening of the highway that runs in front of it.  We both wanted to see it one last time.
The emotions were very intense and bittersweet.  
The demolition team was already there.  Apparently they had been working there for a couple of days.  Part of the house had already been demolished.  All that was left on that end was the brick fireplace.  As I made my way around to the back of the house my mind was flooded with memories.  Some good, some bad.
I stepped up onto what used to be the back porch.  It was covered waist high with debris. Boards, kitchen cabinets, old carpet and there in the middle was the lilac sink from my bathroom.
As a young teenager I would sit on the bathroom counter with my feet in that sink and put on my makeup. 
Then I turned and carefully stepped over a door and I was in the kitchen.  Everything had been removed. It was just a shell of room but I could still see my mother standing there making biscuits and chocolate cake.  She was the best cook ever.  She passed away a little over a year ago and I miss her.
They had removed all the sheet rock and insulation from the walls and ceiling so you could stand in one spot and see the entire house from one end to the other, from top to bottom. It looked so small.
I pictured how the dinning room used to look.  I saw my nephew as a toddler chasing our little dog Charlie around the table.  My nephew is now forty-two and Charlie is buried in the back yard.
I walk in the living room and I see my Grandfather.  A little green ceramic frog under the chair where he is sitting by the front door.
Down the hall is my brothers bedroom and then mine.  
My room.  The room where I played.  The room where I would hang out with my friends when they  came over.  The room where I lay my head at night and slept knowing I was safe because my daddy was in the next room.  
Across the hall is my mom and dad's room.  Bed always made.  No clothes on the floor or thrown over a chair. Everything in place.
I go back outside and I look at the flowers my mom planted,  The lillies, the roses and others I couldn't remember the name of.  Still alive after all these years.  There are the grapevines my dad planted and cared for.  With all my memories and emotions I didn't think to walk down and pick grapes. I will never get that chance again.  
I see my children here.  How they loved their grandma and papa.
This is the home I shared with my mother, father, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and children.
This is the house where I went from a child to an adult.  My coming of age.


Five Things:
1.  I don't like being the center of attention
2.  I'm hooked on Zaxby's chicken fingers
3.  I have a scar under my left eyebrow
4.  I wish I had started doing daily bible reading years ago
5.  I can't whistle 

September 8th 1980

My second child was due on September 7th 1980.  I didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl but I had an over whelming feeling that it was a boy.  My doctor also thought it was a boy.  We picked out a boy's name and painted the nursery blue. 
I think one reason I was sure it was a boy was because I was afraid to have a girl.  My mom and I were not very close and I didn't want to have a relationship like that with my daughter.
I awoke around 5:00 am the next morning in labor.  We got dressed and called the neighbor to come over and sit with the children.  Tommy drove me to the hospital and even though he was being careful it felt like he hit every bump in the road.  They checked me in and then examined me.  The nurse said I was not in labor and to go home.  I told her I was in labor but she wouldn't listen so I went home.
By the time we got home my mom and dad were there.  Tommy went back to work and I laid on the couch timing the labor pains.  My dad was so nervous he just kept walking round and round the house.  He said he didn't come there to deliver a baby.
Finally I decided it was time to go back to the hospital.  We went by the doctor's office first so he could check me and I wouldn't have to deal with that nurse again. 
This time when I checked in they didn't send me home.  The labor pains were very intense, much worse than with my first child.  I finally agreed to let them give me something for pain but by then it was to late to do any good. 
The nurse said it was time and they wheeled me into the labor room.  Tommy was with me.  It was his first time seeing one of his children being born.  I  promised him it wasn't like you see in the movies with the woman screaming and cursing.  At least not with me.  My first delivery didn't hurt as much as my periods did.
But this delivery was different and I did scream.  A few screams and pushes and the baby was born.
The doctor said "It's a girl."  Tommy and I both said "A GIRL?"  The doctor laughed and said "Yes, a girl.  Do you want me to put her back?"
Then he handed her to me.  She was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen.  She wasn't crying, just looking around.  She was worth every labor pain.
My beautiful baby girl "Holly Lynn Collins" I will never forget the first time I saw your face and held you in my arms.  You were a pleasure to raise.  I am so proud of the woman you have turned out to be.  You were and always will be my angel on earth.
Happy Birthday!

Where Did That Come From

One of the fun things about middle age is going to bed one night and you weigh 115 lbs. Your hair is dark, the skin on your face is firm and all is right with the world.  The next day you wake up. You weigh 150 lbs and not only has your face (and other body parts) fallen but there are spots, bags and wrinkles!  Where did  that come from?
OK, so it doesn't happen over night but it seems like it.  What's that old saying?  If I'd known I was gonna live this long I would have taken better care of myself.
Oh, so what. Just take off your glasses put a dimmer switch on the light in the bathroom and you'll look just like you used too!

"FIVE THINGS"
1  I DON"T like being hot
2  Red is my favorite color
3  I love all things French
4  I wish no one in the world ever had to go to bed hungry
5  I think baby pigs are soooo cute

Give Your Life Away

What have you done with your life?    I've been asking myself this question all day.  What have I done?  I mean what have I done with my life that really matters?  What have I done to make a difference in the world or more importantly in someone's life.
Did I do anything today to make someone's life a little better?  Sometimes a person just needs a smile or a kind word to brighten their day.  We're very good at acting like everything is OK when sometimes on the inside we're falling apart.
My teenage grandson like all teenagers gets bored easily.  I 'm trying to teach him to always look for opportunities to reach out and help someone.  Maybe there's all elderly person that he could run errands for or even just check the mail for them.  He might see something a person dropped and pick it up, who knows maybe their back has been hurting lately. 
If you keep your eyes and ears open you would be surprised at how many people you could be a blessing too.
I guess what I'm trying to say is instead of living your life only for your benefit give it away to others. After all isn't that why we were put on this earth, to love and help each other?
I challenge each of you to do one thing everyday that will brighten the day of someone even if it's just a smile or a kind word.
Now on a different note I'm starting a new section I call "5 Things".  Every Monday I will list five things about myself.  This way you will get to know me a little better.  I would love it if you would list "5 Things" about yourself.
1  I have hazel eyes
2  I love key lime pie
3  I wish I had gone to college
4  I like to paint
5  I love children

Life In The Middle

Middle : Half-way between two given points, times, etc.
  I hosted a birthday party yesterday.  The guests ranged in age from one to eightyfive.  The party was for my eightyfive year old father and the one year old is my youngest grandchild. 
The children were  running around, playing and having fun.  The adults were eating, joking and remininacing about times past. I was in the middle.  One minute I was on the floor playing with the little ones and next I was fixing my father's plate of food so he could eat. 
My emotions are all over the place.  It's so much fun to watch the children play and listen to their laughter.  At the same time I'm watching my father as he tells one of his old jokes we've all heard a million times.  He laughs and we all laugh with him.  But I know that my time left with him is short and one day I won't hear his laughter any more.
So I guess I'll enjoy being in the middle as long as I can.
My seven year granddaughter Maddie said "Nana, I thought we were going to have a party." We are I said. "But Nana there's nothing but old people here!" she said with her arms in the air like old people don't know how to party.
I'll close with a French Proverb I learned today.
"Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age". That is oh so true!

"THINGS"

When we're born we are our happiest when we're in our mother's arms.  All we want is time with those we love.
As we grow into childhood  new toys makes us happy.
In the teen years it takes a new outfit or the latest "cool thing" that all our friends have to make us content.
As a young adult it's a new car, money, and the attention of the opposite sex.
In our thirties and forty's we surround ourselves with lots of  "things".  Things for the house, the kids, the car, us and our friends.
In our fifties and sixty's it takes more than "things" to make us happy . We don't want to dust, clean or take care of  all the "things" we've collected over the years.  We slowly begin to rid our lives of "things" and just like in our beginning what we want is time with those we love.  
Life is short so spend time with and pay attention to those you love.
"What most people need to learn is how to love people and use things instead of using people and loving things."

Who Says You Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks

Things I've learned since I reached "Middle Age":
Opened a gift shop.  That was something I always wanted to do.
Opened a coffee shop.  Learned to make coffee. Believe it or not I didn't drink coffee or know how to make it before I opened my coffee shop.  Now I know how to make coffee, espresso, lattes, etc.
Traveled to wineries and learned about wine and added that to my coffee shop.
Took French lessons.
Traveled to France and Canada.
Wrote a short story for children and began writing a book.
Learned to blog.
Learned to add widgets to my blog.
Learned how to program a cell phone.
And because life happens, I've learned to care for the elderly and hold the hand of the dying.

Behind Every Great Woman Is Another Great Woman

Have you ever stopped to think about all the women that have come and gone in your life?  The time spent with each one shaped you into the woman you are today.  Even the women that effected you in a negative way.  Of course the first woman to come into my life was my mother.  We had our differences over the years but she was a good Christian woman.  She taught me right from wrong and she always made sure I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted.  My mother's mother died when I was two so I don't remember her but I do remember my fathers mother.  I called her Grandma.  Her name was Claudia.  She always wore her hair up in a bun, she made yummy biscuits and she had a soft voice.  I had several aunts most of them have passed away.  Some were so sweet and a few were not.  As a matter of fact the sweet ones are still alive and I know they would do anything they could for me if I needed them.  I have a best friend that I don't see very often but when we do see each other or talk on the phone it's like we've never been apart.  She's the kind of friend that you can totally be yourself with.  She doesn't care how you look or what kind of mood you're in.  My coworker is the most compassionate woman I've ever known.  She truly cares about everyone she comes in contact with.  And then there are "The Three".  My daughter, my daughter-in-law, and my stepdaughter. I hate the word stepdaughter.  It sounds so impersonal.  In my heart they are all my daughters. Three very different women yet very much the same.  They're all beautiful, inside and out. They're all very strong willed women with deep convictions. They're all hard workers and I love them.  I hope that I have been and will be a blessing to my daughters, granddaughters and other women that I have the pleasure of coming in contact with.

New Technology and The Middle aged Woman

OMG I have spent half a day trying to add new widgets to my Blog!  If you're a Baby Boomer stay at home mom you've had very little experience with computers.  As little as I know about them I still have friends that know less, but I'm learning.  Mostly by trail and error, like today. 
I learned about a new company  called, Open Sky.  Very interesting.  The concept is they connect people with a product to sell with someone like me that will talk about it and sell it on their Blog.  These are products you don't find in stores and you only sell the products you like. 
I once owned a gift shop and I love retail sales so this is something I might enjoy. 
Lord help me I'm also trying to setup a widget from Amazon.com.
If you hear someone screaming in the night don't worry it's just me!!!

"Women Over 40", by Frank Kaiser

I love Frank Kaiser's view of older women.  What do you think?

Women Over 40, By Frank Kaiser

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

"Old Mistresses Apologue" by Benjamin Franklin

Here is part of the letter Benjamin Franklin wrote about older women.  It comes from the "Old Mistresses Apologue".

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:




1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable.



2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.



3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d may be attended with much Inconvenience.



4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.



5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.



6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.



7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.



8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!



Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.

As an "OLDER" woman I have a few remarks for Mr. Franklin but because I'm a "Lady" as well, I'll keep them to myself.

"Woman's Work"

I didn't blog last week because I was on vacation, if you want to call it that.  Finances are low this year so we did a "staycation" at home.  That means I washed clothes, cooked, babysat the grandchildren and cleaned house.  Needless to say I was ready to go back to work.
One bright spot was a visit from my daughter and my furry grandchild (he's a dog, but don't tell him that). Next summer I plan to travel  to Texas and help her search for a home. 

Join Me On A Journey Of Self Discovery

I wonder if the women of generations past felt like the women of today.  Did they know who they were?  Did they know what they wanted?  Unlike our generation they didn't have the option to start life over when the children were grown.  There are many  things that can stop me and women like me from reaching out and fulfilling our dreams.  It's hard to step out of our comfort zone and into the unknown.  Sometimes there are financial reasons.  Maybe she has no one to encourage her to try her hand at something new.  Maybe she wants to make a change but has no idea where to start.  That's me.  I didn't know where to start so I started here.  I'm sharing my thoughts with any one that wants to go with me on a journey of self discovery.

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."

I started reading this great book today.  A Garden in Paris by Stephanie Grace Whitson.  I was blown away by the first couple of pages because it parallels my life these days.  I'm not married to a rich man and I have have never been in love with a man from France but for the past year I've been writing a book about a fifty six  year old widow that has always lived her life with and for her family.  Now she's ready to start life anew.  She moves to France and discovers who she really is and what she wants to do with the rest of her life.
To quote George Eliot "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

I watched a great show last night on TV.  It's called Hot In Cleveland.  It's about three middle aged women from LA.   One of them wrote a book about a list of two hundred twenty two things a woman should do before she dies.  On the list was cash in your air miles and go on a trip to Paris with two of your best friends.  If you read my blogs you will know I love Paris.  Their plane has trouble so they have to land in Cleveland.  Being hungry they go looking for a bar & grill and upon entering one they notice the men are looking at them.  Being from LA where if you're a woman over the age of twenty one you're considered old and the men don't give you a second look they were very flattered.  The show goes on with jokes about being a middle aged woman and the man/woman relationship at that age.  I very much enjoyed the show and I recomend it for a good laugh. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about the things I would like to do.  I have two lists.  One is a list of things I would do if money were no object and the other one is more realistic.  Due to recent financial setbacks I don't know when I'll be able to do any thing on my list but I'll be ready if I ever get the chance.
If money wasn't an object I would:
Take a trip on the Orient Express
Buy an apartment in Paris
Help people anonymously when ever I saw a need.
Realistically I would like to:
Rent a house on the beach for a week
Take an overnight train trip
See the giant Red Wood trees
Travel
Take my grandchildren to Disney world
Open a gift shop

What I have to learn is how to be myself.  But sad to say I don't know who I am.  I was raised to be a daughter that pleased her parents and then a wife and mother that did whatever she could to please her husband and children.  So I've never been encouraged to be "me" and I don't really know how to do that.

I want to be free like that but where and how do I start?  It seems like it would be easier if I could move away where no one knows me. Then when someone meant me it wouldn't matter if my hair was long and gray.  It wouldn't matter what I weighed or what I wore.  They wouldn't have any preconceived notion of how I "should" look because they have never seen me before.

I want to learn to like myself as I am.  Gray hair, wrinkles, extra weight around the middle.  I know none of that matters.  It's all superficial.  It's just hard to let go when that's all you've ever known.  I have such admiration for my daughter and my daughter-in-law.  They don't wear makeup or worry about their hair.  They don't care if their clothes are the latest style.  They have the self confidence that I want.  They're free spirited and live each day as it comes.

I've always been a very quite, reserved person, never wanting to draw attention to myself.  But lately I've been thinking a lot about how freeing it would be to just let go.  To laugh out loud, to let my hair grow long even though it's gray.  To put on a bathing suit and go to the beach and not care if I have cellulite and a tummy.
Why is it so hard for women to let go of their youth.  I guess in this society we are told from the time we are born how pretty we are and you learn quickly the cuter you are the more attention you get.  As we age we work hard at staying that way.  We spend fortunes and hours and hours on our hair and makeup.  We cringe if we gain a pound.  An approving look from a man or even another woman makes you feel good about yourself.  As you get older those approving looks get fewer and far apart yet you still crave that feeling.

Living Life At 57

As I sit here staring at the cursor blinking on the computer screen I'm trying to decide  how I want to write this blog.
I've come to the stage in my life where I want to make a change.  A big change!  I figure I'm reaching the finish line and I want to enjoy the time I have left.  I mean I want to really live the rest of my life to the fullest extent!